Are you feeling tender, emotionally or physically?
Is your heart feeling a bit raw? Could you or those around you use a touch of gentle care?
In a world buzzing with speed, ambition, and countless stressors, tenderness offers a quiet, transformative refuge. It is a subtle, profound way of being—an invitation to connect deeply with yourself and others, nurturing warmth, compassion, and an open heart.
The Power of Tenderness
Tenderness is not a weakness. It is an acknowledgment of our humanity, the attunement of our nervous system, and a bridge to healing. Often, when we feel tender, our first instinct may be to distract or numb ourselves—through food, sleep, or entertainment. Yet, tenderness invites us to be with our rawness instead of escaping it.
One of our students recently shared an emotional release during a workshop. A wave of grief arose about not being protected by a parent. Instead of anger, the depth of sadness and loss left him feeling more resolved and peaceful. After such a release, it was important for him to be tender with himself, holding that younger part with softness and compassion.
This story reminds us: the vulnerability required for deep healing can only be supported by an environment of tenderness and acceptance.
Tenderness and Tsewa
The Tibetan word TSEWA, often translated as tenderness, conveys the heart-opening practice of offering warmth and love to all beings. It encourages us to recognize our innate goodness and the goodness in others.
It challenges us to move beyond personal pain and embrace the interconnectedness of all life. By nurturing tsewa, we not only foster inner peace but also contribute to the well-being of those around us.
Practicing tsewa asks us to:
- Cultivate compassion, even amid adversity.
- Move beyond personal pain to embrace life’s interconnectedness.
- Express our tender hearts openly and generously.
As the founder of the SkyDancing Tantra Institutes, Margot Anand has long taught the integration of spirituality and sensuality, helping individuals bring the ecstasy of the sacred into everyday life. She teaches that tenderness is one of the Golden Keys to happiness:
“Many people hold back from physical closeness, fearing it may lead to expectations or sexual performance. That is not the case. Tenderness transcends neediness. When you awaken and nourish your inner lover, you can give and receive tenderness freely, with an open heart.”
Tenderness: The Modest Form of Love
Tenderness is love in its simplest, most unassuming form. It’s a quiet force that doesn’t seek recognition or reward and arises from the deep acknowledgment of our shared fragility and humanity.
This gentle attitude goes beyond empathy, touching upon a deep emotional concern for others. It recognizes the bonds that connect us and perceives the world as alive and interconnected.
When you approach a person, a tree, or even a part of yourself with tenderness, you affirm its unique existence. In doing so, you nurture not only connection but also mutual understanding and shared fate.
Practice Suggestion: Cultivating Tenderness
This week, explore the gentle power of tenderness with this simple practice:
1. Pause and Observe: Notice when you feel raw or tender. Acknowledge this feeling without judgment.
2. Extend Tenderness to Yourself: Place your hands over your heart and take a deep breath. Whisper: "I am here for you.” Feel the warmth of your own care.
3. Offer Tenderness to Others: Choose one person to hold in your heart today. Imagine them surrounded by soft, compassionate light. If you feel comfortable, share a kind word or gesture with them.
4. Reflection Question:
What would it feel like to embrace your tender heart rather than retreat from it?
With love and tenderness,
❤️ Sara & Thomas Stout